Good year for career and love?

So I took Kathryn to the Mandarin for dinner last night with Auntie Carol. Actually I should say she took us - since she did treat us. The Mandarin is celebrating Chinese New Years so their placemats listed the Chinese horoscope and what was in store for each sign in 'The year of the pig'. My horscope said that it would be a good year for career and love. Choose wisely.

So does that mean I have to choose between career and love? If I had to choose I'd pick love without a second thought. A job is necessary but relationships, friendships and family are far more important in the grand scheme of life. I have always believed this.

I have always tried very hard to maintain my relationships. Sometimes I've had people comment that I should let some friendships go because there are some actions/words that should be deal breakers. As I get older I start to see that occasionally this is true. Some friendships you outgrow. Some people do things that force you to cut them out of your life. Some people just start to have an unhealthy affect on your emotional or mental well-being. With some of them I've learned that they are not the people I thought they were or I had a skewed view of them in the first place.

I've been happy to realize that despite many of my bad choices in boyfriends and friends I have managed to maintain a few healthy and genuine friendships.

I'm quite proud of the fact that I now have more respect for myself. I no longer desire to date the wrong men. I know what I want now and I'm not going to settle just because I don't want to be alone. I won't settle for boys that disrespect me or the people that matter to me. I will not be a door mat for anyone anymore.

I had a friend say something recently that made me think. She said that I had a pattern of going after men that were unavailable. Now while I don't believe this to be the case it did make me stop and realize that I did have a few patterns which I think I have managed to break. The single guys I've started meeting are decent, respectful and amazing.

There was a guy I had met a couple of years ago whom, I never had any intention of pursuing. I knew I wasn't his type however, I found him very attractive. Now, he is the last person I would ever want to date. I realized that this guy was similar to a guy I had dated briefly when I was much younger. Once again I was going for what I know even though I know it doesn't work. Having taken the time now to get to know him I've discovered that our values are polar opposites and he has major self-esteem issues that will hinder any relationhship he gets himself into.

Someone very special made me realize that all those things that I used to want are still possible. Even the qualities I'd tossed aside because I was sure no actual men possessed those qualities anymore. I feel like I've been given a new set of eyes. This person came out of nowhere and caught me unaware. In the moment when I least expected it and when I wasn't looking for it or wanting it this person gave me hope. I don't think they know how much they have changed my life. I hope someday I get the chance to tell them that because of them I will never again settle.

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Unconscious Mutterings

1. Plaster :: slang word for drunk well if you add a 'd' to it.


2. Cabbage :: Patch Kid - I had two. Named Rita Fanny and Imelda Fay


3. Jazz :: Chicago: the musical


4. Darts :: smoky bar


5. Poke :: prod


6. Bribe :: money


7. Whale :: watching


8. Receipt :: spent money


9. Answer :: finality


10. Dentist :: appointment